Navigating the Early Days of a Remote Job: Embracing the Slow Onboarding Process

Table of Contents:

1. Slow Onboarding Process

2. The Onboarding Paradox

3. Why Calm Days Are a Blessing in Disguise

4. A Reality Check

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So, my friend recently started a shiny new fully remote job. Two weeks in, and he’s already questioning his entire existence. Why? Because his workdays have been… well, let’s just say he’s had a lot of time to perfect his desk-chair yoga routine.

Slow Onboarding Process

Here’s the deal: my friend is used to working in-person, where his days were packed with tasks, meetings, and the occasional awkward office small talk. But this new remote role? So far, it’s been a grand total of a few orientation meetings and a lot of downtime. Like, a lot. He’s been in a very slow onboarding process reading internal resources, staring at his screen, and wondering if he’s accidentally committing some kind of work crime by being this chill.

When he brought this up to his boss, the response was basically, “Relax, we’re not throwing you into the deep end yet. But hey, if you’re feeling ambitious, go ahead and be proactive!”

Proactive? My friend is two weeks in. He’s still figuring out how to pronounce his manager’s last name and where the “mute” button is on the company’s preferred video conferencing app. How proactive can one be when he’s still decoding the company acronyms?

Then came the kicker: His one scheduled meeting got canceled, and he spent the entire day doing… nothing. Absolutely nothing. And while that might sound like a dream come true, it left him feeling weirdly guilty. Like, “Am I getting paid to exist right now? Is this what adulthood is supposed to feel like?”

The Onboarding Paradox

Here’s the thing: my friend isn’t alone in this. The shift from in-person to remote work can be weird. In an office, even if you don’t have much to do, you can at least look busy by walking around with a notebook or nodding thoughtfully in meetings.

But at home? It’s just you, your desk, and the crushing weight of your own thoughts.

Here’s the twist: this slow start isn’t a problem. In fact, it’s kind of a gift.

My friend just doesn’t realize it yet.

Why Calm Days Are a Blessing in Disguise

Let’s be real: work-life balance is a myth for most of us. We’re either drowning in deadlines or scrolling LinkedIn in a panic because we feel like we’re not doing enough. So, when life hands you a few calm days, take them. My friend is out here stressing about not being stressed, and honestly, it’s kind of hilarious.

Here’s my advice to him (and anyone else in this situation):

1. Enjoy the staycation vibes: These calm days won’t last forever. Soon enough, you’ll be knee-deep in projects, wishing you could go back to the good ol’ days of reading internal docs and perfecting your coffee-making skills. Soak it up while you can.

   
   

2. Be a low-key detective: Use this time to sleuth around the company’s intranet, read old emails, and stalk your coworkers’ LinkedIn profiles (for professional reasons, obviously). You’ll learn a ton, and it’ll make you feel like you’re doing something vaguely productive.

   
   

3. Embrace the art of proactive chill: If you’re feeling ambitious, reach out to a colleague for a virtual coffee chat or ask your boss if there’s anything you can help with. But if not? That’s cool too. You’re still learning the ropes, and no one expects you to be a superhero on day 10.

   
   

4. Remember: This too shall pass: Before you know it, your calendar will be packed, your inbox will be overflowing, and you’ll be nostalgically reminiscing about the time you got paid to exist. So, enjoy the calm before the storm.

   
   

A Reality Check

Look, my friend is out here living the dream and doesn’t even realize it. He’s getting paid to sit at home, drink coffee, and occasionally attend a meeting. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here Googling “how to survive burnout” and crying into our overpriced avocado toast.

So, to my friend (and anyone else in this situation): stop stressing.

Take the calm days as a gift. Soon enough, you’ll be swamped, and you’ll miss the days when your biggest work dilemma was deciding whether to reheat your coffee or make a fresh cup.

And hey, if all else fails, just remember: you’re not not working. You’re… strategically preparing for future productivity. Yeah, let’s go with that.

Disclaimer: This story is about a friend, not me. (But if it were me, I’d totally own it.)

Every workplace is different, so your experience may vary.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go practice my desk-chair yoga.